Crowded
B and I have unwittingly gained 2 roommates within the past 12 hours.
No, seriously. 2 within less than 1 full f-ing day. And our house isn't all that big. It's just a 3/2.
I got a call from B yesterday afternoon that was just the cherry on top of what had been a simply wonderful parfait of a day:
B: "Hey, honey. Guess who's on their way down here right now."
Elle: "I don't know. Who?"
B: "[Insert name of psycho-woman-magnet here]."
Elle: *Stunned silence*
B: "Honey?"
Elle: *Picks jaw up off of floor*
PsychoMagnet apparently managed to release his balls from the iron grip that his sugar mama had on them, dislodge her talons from his flesh, and leave her for good. While this makes me very proud of him and happy that he finally has a chance at being free and happy again, it's one more soldier to take care of (he was in Iraq with B in 2003). Read: one more hollow leg to fill with steaks and potatoes, more loads of laundry, more cleaning, a higher power bill. Dear lord, I fear the grocery bill. I don't have enough Prozac for this.
However, my boyfriend, bless his heart, doesn't think of those things and just sees the fact that his friend needs us. I, on the other hand, have a generalized anxiety disorder and OCD.
So, like I said, we now have 2 roommates. PsychoMagnet and now, TheStripper.
B just called me.
B: "Guess who just called." (Do you see the pattern forming here? When he's got news that he knows will freak me out, he likes to make me guess what it is.)
Elle: "I don't know, honey."
B: "[Insert name of TheStripper's sugar daddy here]."
Elle: "What?! How the hell did he get your cell phone number?"
B: "He wants to drop off TheStripper's stuff today. He's coming at 4:30."
Images of a crowded house, rapidly disappearing food, heaps of laundry, overshared and dirty bathrooms, skyrocketing bills, and drama flashed before my eyes. It has been wonderful lately with just him and me in the house; it's peaceful, relaxed, and completely drama-free. Completely. I'm going to lose it.
Before B hung up after that gem of a conversation, he said:
"We're going house shopping this weekend."
No, seriously. 2 within less than 1 full f-ing day. And our house isn't all that big. It's just a 3/2.
I got a call from B yesterday afternoon that was just the cherry on top of what had been a simply wonderful parfait of a day:
B: "Hey, honey. Guess who's on their way down here right now."
Elle: "I don't know. Who?"
B: "[Insert name of psycho-woman-magnet here]."
Elle: *Stunned silence*
B: "Honey?"
Elle: *Picks jaw up off of floor*
PsychoMagnet apparently managed to release his balls from the iron grip that his sugar mama had on them, dislodge her talons from his flesh, and leave her for good. While this makes me very proud of him and happy that he finally has a chance at being free and happy again, it's one more soldier to take care of (he was in Iraq with B in 2003). Read: one more hollow leg to fill with steaks and potatoes, more loads of laundry, more cleaning, a higher power bill. Dear lord, I fear the grocery bill. I don't have enough Prozac for this.
However, my boyfriend, bless his heart, doesn't think of those things and just sees the fact that his friend needs us. I, on the other hand, have a generalized anxiety disorder and OCD.
So, like I said, we now have 2 roommates. PsychoMagnet and now, TheStripper.
B just called me.
B: "Guess who just called." (Do you see the pattern forming here? When he's got news that he knows will freak me out, he likes to make me guess what it is.)
Elle: "I don't know, honey."
B: "[Insert name of TheStripper's sugar daddy here]."
Elle: "What?! How the hell did he get your cell phone number?"
B: "He wants to drop off TheStripper's stuff today. He's coming at 4:30."
Images of a crowded house, rapidly disappearing food, heaps of laundry, overshared and dirty bathrooms, skyrocketing bills, and drama flashed before my eyes. It has been wonderful lately with just him and me in the house; it's peaceful, relaxed, and completely drama-free. Completely. I'm going to lose it.
Before B hung up after that gem of a conversation, he said:
"We're going house shopping this weekend."
posted by Liz at 6:37 AM
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